All right I have been tempting you with the many reasons that have prompted me to start this little blog. So here goes
In one of my first blogs I had mentioned that Bunky was merely renting a room. I was very clear with the space and truly the lack there of. It wasn't even a conversation of "reading between the lines" I was straight up clear! Eventually most things found a home and the apartment was put back in order. I did bend a wee bit. Bunky has this God-Awful over stuffed (90's) old school chair. Yup it has a home in the living room. I cringe just a little every time I see it.
Lets move forward a few weeks into co-habituating. I've mentioned that Bunky is in a perpetual state of arrested development right? I'm dealing with a 43yr old that maturation was reached at about age 14 for the little tyke. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy a good time just like the rest of ya's but grown-up fun. Going out with the main goal of getting "F'd up" (Bunky's words not mine) really isn't my cup 'o tea. Sure it happens I'm not an angel but that's not my main goal. It took a few weeks of saying.... No, Bunky NO I don't wanna take shots with you and smoke a bowl. Bunky had a boo-boo face for awhile. Mama has a grown-up job with grown-up responsibilities. Bunky finally gets it.
This now leads me into the meat of this post. Bunky is often a childish annoyance! Background: Bunky likes to stay up late and if Bunky knows I won't be home she likes to entertain and when I say entertain it's occasionally a 20-something booty call. Ouch who would hit that you ask? Well it's an eclectic little group. Some are comic book friends, some are friends of friends and, well, God only knows! Ok I'm getting off subject again. As I started to say... I go to bed fairly early during the week. I live in N Portland. While N Portland has come a long way, it's still a bit sketchy at night. I live in a duplex so anyone can walk right up to my front door and bedroom window. One weekday evening I'm sound asleep. In the fogginess of my peaceful slumber I think I hear the door bell. Naw, I'm dreaming go to sleep. Nope, nope there it is again. Son-of-a BITCH it IS the doorbell. By this time I look over and it's about 11:30pm. I'm thinking to myself "Friggin' Bunky can answer the damn door it's likely his booty-call" note to self - scold Bunky in the morning about weeknight visitors. So I try to drift off again knowing full good and well it's not for me and who in their right mind would open up the door so late. Next thing I hear is knocking at my window. Now my heart is racing - who or what the hell could it be. I ignore once again only to hear the pounding getting a bit louder and a "Hey Carin... It's Bunky let me in" At this point I am Elaine Benes mad! I get out of bed and open the door. I say not a word 'cause if I do I'm gonna explode. I get an apology and I shuffle off to bed.
I'm gonna add a snippet more on Bunky - this will all come together better. Bunky LOVES to text. Random weirdness is what primarily goes out. I finally had to say to Bunky... ease up tiger and please stop texting after 9pm - you're bugging the crap outta me and I don't find it cute. With that said I do keep my phone close to me. My folks are aging and you just never know when you'll receive an emergency call so I never turn my phone down.
Back on track, let's continue. I'm blessed that my boyfriend Coleman lives about 4-blocks away and I stay at his house roughly 3-4 nights a week. His house is quiet and just the two of us. It's about one week later from the "lock-out" incident. I'm at Coleman's and we're fast asleep. The phone rings and I quickly snap to it all the while thinking it's my family and trying not to wake him up as well. Guess who it is? YUP Bunky. It's 2am and the WANKER has lock himself out again. I am so PISSED! Basically the conversation was - so you expect me to get dressed and let you in? How irresponsible! Sleep outside or find a friend. I hang up. I'm wide awake (so is Coleman by now) and I feel that damn Irish-Catholic guilt. I text her right back and say... I'll be home in a few. I get there and Bunky is somewhat jovial and says... Oh dude I am so sorry. I say: Shut the F*CK up, I'm so pissed right now and if you say another word I'm gonna punch you in the throat! Bunky tucked her tail and whimpered into her bedroom. Next day as we calmly discussed what had happened and I apologized for being so angry Bunky suggests a key under the door mat. Are you FECKING kidding me? No NOT an option. Put on your big-girl panties and have your key with you at all times. Hell hang the bitch around your neck for all I care, just don't lock yourself out anymore and expect me to let you in every time. I can happily report this hasn't happened again. At least I haven't been affected anymore.
So between the move-in, getting settled the odd smells coming from his bedroom, walking into the house with a smokey blue thick stench of incense, cooking/fried smells of late night cooking (Bunky loves to eat, eats a lot and not much on the healthy sense) It's been a long 3-months. WOW it's only been 3-months, seems like ages!
Ok, the piece de resistance of this little story. I'm a bit of a neurotic germ-a-phob. I've come a long way. Shoot a few years ago Bunky would not have step foot in me house. It's a Sunday morning, I'm just out of the shower and getting ready to start my day. Bunky asks if she can use the bathroom. I say sure as long as it's a pee (jokingly) the response was uhhh noooo. Ok, Bunky no probs just spray and lite a match will ya. Bunky finishes up, opens the door and proceeds to talk to me. I'm thinking like the majority of us Bunky is washing hands with soap and water. I look in adn to my horror the hands are merly being run under water and then proceeds to wipe poopie hands on MY hand towel. I feel the nausea rising up. I have a quick flash of all the times I've used that towel and how many times I've brushed my teeth or splashed water on my face and used that towel to wipe my face. Oh man... BUNKY please tell me you used soap and warm water to wash your hands? Nope, I never use soap, why? Jeeeeezzzzz seriously I have to explain why you use soap/water after you go to the bathroom. I grabbed the towel, barked again and have never put a hand towel up again. Needless to say my progress with germs has had a little set-back.
Oh it's so hard not to throw Bunky out on her ear. Between the hand-holding and other annoyances, it has many challenging moments. But I keep in mind that I'm saving a few pennies and getting my visa paid down slowly. A bit more to share, but will save for another time.
Happy New Year, enjoy the peace and quiet of your homes and remember... Cleanliness is next to Godliness - wash your hands with soap kids!
